I talk to God all day long.  That's how I pray but today I was asked the question, why do I pray?


I pray when I don’t know what to do.   


I’ve been a control freak my whole life.   I don’t like the unknown.   I like to know what I’m doing.   I need a plan.  Lately there have been many times that I’ve felt out of control.  There are things I can’t fix or change so I pray until I can let it go.


I pray when I want answers.


Once again, wanting to have some kind of control.  I've always felt if I had some kind of explanation, or understanding, I could deal with the circumstances better.


I pray when my heart aches.


My heart aches when I’m dealing with some kind of loss.  It usually involves a relationship whether family or friend. 


I pray when I’m lonely. 


I’ve always been around people.   I wouldn’t call myself an extrovert unless the situation calls for it, but I like being with others.   I admire those who can go to a restaurant or to the movies and just enjoy themselves.   That’s not me.  I’m always aware of the empty seat beside me. 


There are many verses in the Bible where God tell us we’re never alone.   Psalm 23 says He is by my side.   Isaiah tells us not to be afraid because He is with us.   So, trying to keep that in mind, I pray when I’m lonely.


I pray when I need comfort.   


When my heart is aching, I need comfort.   Talking to God brings me comfort.   Sometimes all I need to is just sit quietly.   Other times I vent it all out.


I pray when I’m afraid. 


I hate to say it but this is probably 85% of my prayers.   Most of the time, I have nothing to substantiate my fears other than a feeling but I’m sure you know that when you live by your feelings, you give them power.   That’s never a good thing. 


I pray when others are suffering.


This is a hard one because it involves all of of the above.   I hate suffering.  I want to fix things and make everything better but there are times there’s nothing I can do.   But, I can pray.


Why is it we think of prayer as our last resort?   It should be the first thing we do in the morning and the last thing we do at night.   We’re not talking to the air.   Our words are not bouncing off the ceiling.   They are being heard by God who is very much alive and loves us just as we are.


As I looked at my answers, I realized it was pretty one sided.  Prayer is communication and communication involves both sides getting the chance to talk.   Prayer is not just about pleading or begging, it's about having an honest conversation with God.  It's about letting ourselves let it all hang out and not being afraid, ashamed or guilty.  He knows how we feel.  He knows our hearts and He loves us no matter what.  He wants our conversations to be two sided but in order to do that, we have to sit and listen.   I can't even imagine how many times I've missed what He's had to say.  To be honest, sometimes I'm afraid to hear what He has to say because my prayers haven't always been answered the way I had hoped. 


The Bible says that  “the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.”   That's how I want to pray. 


I have changes to make but in order to do that, I have to be willing to accept His answers even if they don't match my own…if not, I'm just wasting my breath.


Father, may I pray in faith knowing I can trust You with the outcome and grow in the knowledge that You are good and Your love never grows cold.  Amen

Your Worst Enemy

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 25, 2025
“You are your own worst enemy.” How many times have I said that to myself? I've come to realize that although there's truth to it, there's something else that's even greater. It's name is shame. Shame is the enemy of our soul. We don't even realize it's there. It makes itself comfortable within us and settles in for the long haul. Shame becomes familiar and it rises up when we least expect it and knocks us off our feet. It likes to be in control. Shame has had a grip on me since I was a child. It started when I was bullied by other kids because of my weight. I was the brunt of jokes and a target for snowballs. Names like “Fatso” replaced my own and it didn't take long until I believed their lies. Shame has a voice. It says, “something's wrong with you. You're not good enough.” By the time I became an adult, it affected every area of my life. It stole my identity. I've spent my life trying to prove that I was good enough. I fell into the trap trying to be all things to all people. I took on responsibilities that were not mine to take as I tried to fix everyone's problems. Underneath it all was a desperate need to know I was loved and accepted. The more I strove, the more shame laughed in my face. I got to the place of brokenness where I physically walked with my head down. Shame thought it had won. I was at my lowest point and I cried out to God in desperation. I didn't see fireworks or hear the Hallelujah Chorus but an awareness started deep in my soul. I realized that what I needed most was not the love and acceptance of others but His love. What amazed me was I had it all along. I had heard about it. I knew it in my head but all my striving and need for control kept it from reaching my heart. I didn't need to earn it. It was there waiting for me to accept it. Now there's a transformation going on within me. It's not happening overnight. I still wrestle with shame but it doesn't have a grip on me. I walk with my head up and I'm learning who I really am. I'm learning to love myself because He loves me. It's a daily choice I have to make to turn to God and lean on Him. The power is in surrender. When I am weak. He is strong. There's no shame in weakness. Maybe your experience is similar to mine. Shame likes to hide so I would encourage you to pray for awareness and when you get it, surrender the striving and need for control. The shame will leave as it gets exposed and comes face to face with the Lover of our souls. It can't stand in His presence. The freedom and peace you long for are waiting.

Broken Crayons Still Color

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 6, 2025
When I was a child, I loved the box of crayons that had 64 colors. I gravitated toward the metallic ones because they were so unique. Two years ago, I took a trip with my grandchildren to the Crayola Crayon Factory. I don't know who was more excited. After going through the various exhibits, we ended up in the gift shop where we could take a container and fill it with every crayon color imaginable. I felt like a kid again as I chose each one. I told myself I was buying them for my grandchildren but I knew who they were for. I don't have to tell you I chose every metallic color they had. Back at home, I was wary of letting the grandkids use them for fear they would break them and once they were broken, I didn't want to use them. Ridiculous I know. Next month, I'll be 70 years old. As this milestone comes closer, so does a lot of self-awareness and introspection. I used to think that by this age, I'd have shifted into the “golden years” and everything would be ok. My kids would be grown and settled. I would be retired and spending time teaching my grandchildren how to bake cookies and volunteering somewhere doing community service. I also thought I'd be growing old with the love of my life and we would finally get to travel to all the places we had always wanted to see. Yes, my kids are grown and I do travel but not the way I thought. My body has decided to start protesting its age so I am limited in what I can do and I find myself alone most of the time. I've started to wonder if this is all there is? Why am I still here? Maybe you've felt the same way. I don't know exactly what the reason is other than I have the blessing and wisdom of living this long. I've had trials and challenges that I've walked through and come out the other side. My heart's desire is to help others who are discouraged and feel hopeless. I've asked myself many times how I could help someone else when I have such a long way to go myself and then I heard the words, “broken crayons still color.” Those words changed my perspective and gave me purpose. They showed me that God can take me in my broken, imperfect state and use me for good. He doesn't see the broken crayon, He sees the beautiful colors and He sees my heart. He sees the whole picture. So as long as I have breath, there's a reason. He's not finished with me yet.

Take the Time

By Eileen Glotfelty • January 15, 2025
I've heard a lot about the importance of sitting in silence and solitude. I've never been a fan of either one. Silence makes me feel awkward so I try to fill it by rattling on about something random. Most times it would've been better if I kept my mouth shut. Solitude is another story. I would never voluntarily choose to be alone. I used to think solitude was a result of rejection and I would do everything in my power to avoid it. Lately, I've been looking at both in a different light. I've been on a search for God's love for a long time. I had heard of it but it always seemed just beyond my grasp. Yesterday a friend challenged me. He asked me what my time with God looked like. I answered him honestly. God was part of a routine. I get up and don't know what to do with myself so I sit and have my “quiet time” with the Lord for lack of anything else. A default. He then told me about his time of silence and solitude. It was a beautiful thing full of raw emotion and longing. He came away feeling loved and strengthened. As he spoke, I felt something stir within me. I wanted what he had. I wanted to meet with God and to know His love. God was waiting and He wanted me to come to Him and I did. It's hard to explain but all I know is that I woke up with anticipation and expectation. I went to my chair and started thinking of times where God met me. He's carried me through many storms, held my hand as I walked through the unknown and held me as I cried many tears. He's healed my heart when it's been broken and guided me when I had no idea what to do. I remembered how He loved my kids and brought them through trauma and tragedy when they didn't know He was there. He's healed me physically and emotionally and never turned His back on me even when I turned my back on Him. As I sat there I got a sense of His mercy, love and faithfulness. Words came to my mind that were so clear that I had to write them down. In closing, I'd like to share them and encourage you that if any of it resonates, take some time and embrace the silence and solitude. God will meet you there. "Your Love Your love is peace. Your love is power. Your love is mercy. Your love is faithfulness. Your love is strength. You came as a baby. You surrendered Your power and authority for me. You suffered for me. You didn't have to, but You did. How can I ever thank You? You didn't do it for praise. You did it for love.”