“You are your own worst enemy.”  How many times have I said that to myself?  I've come to realize that although there's truth to it, there's something else that's even greater.   It's name is shame.  Shame is the enemy of our soul.   We don't even realize it's there.  It makes itself comfortable within us and settles in for the long haul.  Shame becomes familiar and it rises up when we least expect it and knocks us off our feet.  It likes to be in control.


Shame has had a grip on me since I was a child.  It started when I was bullied by other kids because of my weight.  I was the brunt of jokes and a target for snowballs.  Names like “Fatso” replaced my own and it didn't take long until I believed their lies. 


Shame has a voice.  It says, “something's wrong with you.  You're not good enough.”  By the time I became an adult, it affected every area of my life.  It stole my identity. 

 

I've spent my life trying to prove that I was good enough.   I fell into the trap trying to be all things to all people.  I took on responsibilities that were not mine to take as I tried to fix everyone's problems.  Underneath it all was a desperate need to know I was loved and accepted.   


The more I strove, the more shame laughed in my face.   I got to the place of brokenness where I physically walked with my head down.  Shame thought it had won.   I was at my lowest point and I cried out to God in desperation.   


I didn't see fireworks or hear the Hallelujah Chorus but an awareness started deep in my soul.   I realized that what I needed most was not the love and acceptance of others but His love.  What amazed me was I had it all along.   I had heard about it.  I knew it in my head but all my striving and need for control kept it from reaching my heart.  I didn't need to earn it.  It was there waiting for me to accept it.


Now there's a transformation going on within me.  It's not happening overnight.  I still wrestle with shame but it doesn't have a grip on me.  I walk with my head up  and I'm learning who I really am.  I'm learning to love myself because He loves me.  It's a daily choice I have to make to turn to God and lean on Him.  The power is in surrender.   When I am weak.  He is strong.  There's no shame in weakness. 


Maybe your experience is similar to mine.   Shame likes to hide so I would encourage you to pray for awareness and when you get it, surrender the striving and need for control.   The shame will leave as it gets exposed and comes face to face with the Lover of our souls.   It can't stand in His presence.   The freedom and peace you long for are waiting. 

Bird on A Pole

By Eileen Glotfelty • October 24, 2026
This story started one evening as I was visiting family in Colorado. I was sitting on their deck which looks out onto the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Usually when I sit outside, my gaze is fixed on the mountains, but not this day. There is a church building on the other side of their backyard fence, and as I was looking out over the prairie behind it, something caught my eye. In the parking lot there was a flag pole. It stood about 25 feet high. At the top of the flagpole was a metal ball. My eye kept getting drawn back to that ball because I thought I saw something moving. I took out my cell phone camera and zoomed in on it. Turns out it was a little bird. As I watched this little creature, I was fascinated. The surface of the ball was not much bigger than the size of his body but there he sat like he didn't have a care in the world. He felt safe. I told God I wanted that kind of confidence. After a few minutes, I looked up and the bird was gone. In that moment I heard the Lord speak to my heart and say, “You already have everything you need to spread your wings and fly.” The only difference between me and that little bird was, he believed it. Each of us has a calling or a purpose. Mine is to share lessons I have learned to offer hope and encouragement to others. I didn't accept it for a long time because I felt unworthy. How could someone so broken be used to help others? It's because there is a God in heaven who loves us and created us for such a time as this. We don't have to be perfect. God uses the broken and the weak to shame the strong. He looks at the heart and only asks that we be willing. We just need to take that first step. My step may be different from yours and some of us will take baby steps, and that's ok. We will still be moving forward. So my friend, I'm talking to myself as I encourage you. We already have everything we need so let's lift up our heads, give Him the fear, the guilt, the shame, and spread our wings and fly!

The Last Straw

By Eileen Glotfelty • September 20, 2026
It was November 2001. The world was still reeling from grief with the effects of 911. Even though my world wasn't affected by 911, it was still reeling in grief.  The love of my life was lying in the hospital on a ventilator living out his last days. I didn't know how many were left and I was clinging to the fact that it wasn't too late for a miracle. On that particular day, I had gone to be with him. Every time I went, I would stand by his bedside and read Psalm 91 to him as tears rolled down my face. Psalm 91 talks about God being our refuge and our strength and how He covers us. He likens it to a bird tucking his young under his wing to protect it. It goes on to say how He gives us angels to guard us and toward the end He says, “He will call on Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:4, 15 NIV) I didn't realize how I would soon see those words come to pass. When I left the hospital, I got in our old car that someone had graciously given us. It had seen its better days, but we were thankful. On that night, however, the engine decided not to turn over. It was the last straw and I sat there with grief and despair washing over me. I couldn't even begin to think what to do. It was maybe a few minutes later that I looked up to see a friend from church walking toward my car. She had come to visit my husband and saw me sitting there. She knew her way around cars and she was familiar with mine. Within five minutes she had me open the trunk and pushed a button that I didn't know existed. The car started immediately. Apparently it was a safety feature of some kind that cut off fuel to the engine. To say I was grateful is an understatement. Some would say it was a coincidence, but I say it was my God tucking me under His wing and delivering me in trouble. He led that woman who knew about the button in the trunk to be there at the right time. He saw my pain. He knew I had reached my limit, and He met me in my grief and despair. I hope my story will encourage you if you are facing an impossible situation. God knows. He never takes His eyes off of you. I learned that my last straw is not His. He will tuck you under His wing and bring you through.

Key to the Heart

By Eileen Glotfelty • August 9, 2026
Keys, you never see their significance until you lose one. A few years ago I was downsizing from a large home to a smaller, more manageable one. I lived in that house for 20 years and now that the kids were grown and gone, it was time to let it go. As I was sorting through years worth of “stuff,” I came across an old can full of keys. At one point, each of those keys had a specific purpose. Some unlocked doors, some unlocked cars and some unlocked things that are still a mystery to this day, but each one unlocked something that needed to be protected and kept safe. As I sat there looking at this container of keys, I had to decide whether to keep them in the hope that they would still be needed some day or to accept the fact that since they had been sitting in that can for years, unused, it was ok to throw them out. I chose the latter. All of us are holding onto a key, whether we realize it or not. It’s the key to our heart. That key is a precious gift. It was meant to be opened by one person and when we put it in the wrong hands, we walk away disappointed and broken. I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. I was reading in the book of Mark, Chapter 11, verse 17 (NIV), about Jesus turning over the tables in the marketplace. I used to think that it was because He was so offended that He let His anger take over. That’s true, but what He was actually doing was restoring order. A sacred place that He loved was being turned into “a den of robbers,” as Jesus called it. Something that was precious and sacred was being defiled and He was taking it back and making it right. This story made me see that it’s never too late to take back the key from those who didn’t deserve it and give it to the One who gave it to me. Jesus handed it to me when He died on the cross and He’s given me the choice to return it. Why haven’t I done it before this? Truthfully, it’s because I was afraid. I wanted control and I thought by giving it to Him, He would ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and love people that I didn’t want to love. I gave my key to the people I thought I could control and I would be safe. I’ve lived my life in chaos because of it. So Jesus, I give you the key to my heart. It’s rusty and bent Lord, but I know You can restore it. Forgive me for giving it to those who didn’t deserve it and looking for the love that only You could give me. Open my heart to Your will and put the broken pieces back together. If tables need to be turned over, turn them over. I surrender control to You. Help me to trust You and love You with all my heart.