“You are your own worst enemy.”  How many times have I said that to myself?  I've come to realize that although there's truth to it, there's something else that's even greater.   It's name is shame.  Shame is the enemy of our soul.   We don't even realize it's there.  It makes itself comfortable within us and settles in for the long haul.  Shame becomes familiar and it rises up when we least expect it and knocks us off our feet.  It likes to be in control.


Shame has had a grip on me since I was a child.  It started when I was bullied by other kids because of my weight.  I was the brunt of jokes and a target for snowballs.  Names like “Fatso” replaced my own and it didn't take long until I believed their lies. 


Shame has a voice.  It says, “something's wrong with you.  You're not good enough.”  By the time I became an adult, it affected every area of my life.  It stole my identity. 

 

I've spent my life trying to prove that I was good enough.   I fell into the trap trying to be all things to all people.  I took on responsibilities that were not mine to take as I tried to fix everyone's problems.  Underneath it all was a desperate need to know I was loved and accepted.   


The more I strove, the more shame laughed in my face.   I got to the place of brokenness where I physically walked with my head down.  Shame thought it had won.   I was at my lowest point and I cried out to God in desperation.   


I didn't see fireworks or hear the Hallelujah Chorus but an awareness started deep in my soul.   I realized that what I needed most was not the love and acceptance of others but His love.  What amazed me was I had it all along.   I had heard about it.  I knew it in my head but all my striving and need for control kept it from reaching my heart.  I didn't need to earn it.  It was there waiting for me to accept it.


Now there's a transformation going on within me.  It's not happening overnight.  I still wrestle with shame but it doesn't have a grip on me.  I walk with my head up  and I'm learning who I really am.  I'm learning to love myself because He loves me.  It's a daily choice I have to make to turn to God and lean on Him.  The power is in surrender.   When I am weak.  He is strong.  There's no shame in weakness. 


Maybe your experience is similar to mine.   Shame likes to hide so I would encourage you to pray for awareness and when you get it, surrender the striving and need for control.   The shame will leave as it gets exposed and comes face to face with the Lover of our souls.   It can't stand in His presence.   The freedom and peace you long for are waiting. 

It's Not The End

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 23, 2026
Are you one of those people who like to read the end of the story before finishing the book? This morning I've been sitting here feeling overwhelmed by life. There are things that are out of my control and a lot of uncertainty. For someone who likes to have a plan, it's my worst nightmare. God's word says that He finishes what He starts and He will complete the good work in me (Philippians 1:6 NIV). I struggle with that when I can't see the finish line. God's word also says He's the Alpha and the Omega which means He is the beginning and the end (Rev 22:13 NIV). To me, that means that He sees it all. He knew where I would be on any given day. He knew my circumstances before I did, but unlike me, He's not worrying and overcome with anxiety because He sees the end. So, once again, I have a choice to make. I can sit here overwhelmed because I can't see the way out, or, I can trust the One who can. Will I choose hope or despair? This leads me to faith which is choosing to believe even though we can't see the outcome. I had to ask myself where I was putting my faith. Hope and faith work together. No amount of striving can earn them. Each one of us has access to them. All we have to do is ask the One who freely gives. Jesus, I know you've written my story and You know how it ends. Everything in this life is temporary. Even though I can't see the end, help me to rest in the fact that You do and I can trust You with my life.

The Lost Sheep

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 11, 2026
A few weeks ago I shared about my estranged child. Mother's Day came and went without a word. I spent the day wondering/hoping I would hear something. I didn't expect a phone call but maybe a text. I told myself not to have any expectations, but I still did. I was almost angry at myself for thinking maybe this year would be different. This morning I sat here talking to the Lord. He wants me to be honest with Him so I didn't try to hide the sorrow and the rejection. I told Him I was hurt and I had to forgive my child once again. He reminded me that I had three other children who hadn't forgotten me and made me feel loved and honored, so why was the rejection of one so painful? It was then I remembered the story of the lost sheep. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's about a shepherd who has a flock of a hundred sheep. One of them goes astray and the shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to go find it. It was a gentle reminder that He will never give up on my child and He loves Him more than I could imagine. In the same way, God will never give up on any of us. No matter how much we run or push Him away, He will never leave us. I needed that encouragement, maybe you do too.

The Prodigal

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 19, 2026
For those of you who have a prodigal child, you're not alone. What I mean by prodigal is a child who has turned their back on you and put up walls of defense. It came as a surprise, a shock actually. I should've seen it coming but after years of butting heads, I truly thought we were in a better place. The revelation came in a letter where thoughts and feelings were shared. I felt my spirit being crushed as I read it and my heart broke. I know I wasn't the perfect mother. I had struggles and behaviors that had followed me since childhood. I had resolved never to treat my children the way I was treated, but how many of us know that sadly it still happens, but in a different way. When you have a prodigal, it's not about forgiveness and reconciliation, it's about the pain they feel we've inflicted and they can't let go of it. I keep hoping that some day, things will change but there's no guarantee as it takes two surrendered hearts that are open to be healed. It's been four years now since I received that letter. I have grieved in a way I never have before and there were times I didn't think I would make it through. It's a different kind of grief because you know it can change but it's out of your control. It's been a process and I've experienced rejection, abandonment, guilt and shame but it brought me to a place where I knew it was going to keep me in a prison of pain if I didn't surrender it to God so He could heal my heart. The Bible has a story about a prodigal son. Even though the son went his own way and abandoned his father, his father never gave up hope. When the son had an “aha” moment and realized how foolish he had been, he humbled himself and returned home. This is my favorite of the story: “So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:20 NIV” This is how God greets everyone who returns to Him, no matter what they've done. I pray I would react the same way with my son. If you have a prodigal, my heart goes out to you, but just know that God sees you and your child. He is working behind the scenes as He is a God of redemption and reconciliation. He will heal your broken heart and give you the strength to hold on.