One of the words that have been brought up constantly this year for me is the word SURRENDER.


This past year has been a year of craziness with continued change and hardships for many around me. I don’t know about you, but not having much control in my environment can be challenging; almost painful at times. This same idea of surrender has been brought up constantly in my counseling sessions, leaving people hopeless, angry, stressed, fearful and more. There has been a big shift this year in what we know as “normal,” but this shouldn’t take us by surprise because one of the most consistent things we have in life is change. Things are always changing, in relationships, jobs, and the world around us. Regardless of the knowledge that things will change it can still be hard to deal with.


So my question to you is why? Why is it so hard to deal with change when it’s something we have always experienced in life? Shouldn’t we be experts on this by now?


Most of the time change is hard to deal with because of the fear of the unknown and being uncomfortable. Comfort is something we are constantly striving for, the comfort of knowing that we have a plan or that things are going to work out in a way that won’t disrupt our lives. We seek comfort in our homes, our health, and our job security. We seek comfort in knowing we have the finances to continue maintaining our lives, how they are or even better than we have been living. We like knowing that our go to people will always be there for us. We also seek comfort in our freedoms and those not being taken away. The list can go on and on because we seek comfort in everything we do. We even seek comfort in things that aren't the best for us, like unhealthy relationships, drinking, explosive anger, unforgiveness and again the list can go on and on.


The problem with always seeking comfort is that it keeps us from being uncomfortable. The reason it’s a problem is because our growth as humans takes place in the discomfort. But we don’t like the feeling of not being in the position of God, so we are constantly fighting for it, even when it’s not ours to have. We want to know the future in order to hold on to the comfort. We want to control the outcome in order to “will” our expectations into existence.


This is not our job. We are not God. We cannot see what is to come and we cannot always “will” our expectations of life into existence. We don’t like that so we fight with everything in us and when it doesn't work we are left hopeless and angry. This brings me back to the idea of surrender. In reality, we are not the ones that hold the world in our hands. It’s our job to hand control over to God; to stop trying to obtain it and to place control in the hands of our Lord and Savior.


So how do we do this practically in a way that works?


We cry out just like Jesus did before he we taken to the cross:


“And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible the hour might pass from him. And he said, ‘Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’” (Mark 14:35-36).


Jesus cried out for a different path; one that might not be as painful, but as he was crying out for a different way he still handed the control back to God in saying, “yet not what I will but what you will.” This is painful to hear and see. If Jesus was struggling, then how much more will this be a struggle for us to surrender to God’s will? Could you imagine if Jesus didn’t step into the discomfort? Things would look very different for us. He stepped into the discomfort regardless of what he truly wanted to do because he had faith in God and God’s will for his life here on earth. The growth and reward could have never taken place in a different way.


It was hard, it was painful and it was definitely uncomfortable but it was the only way. God didn’t want to see his Son suffer just like he doesn't want to see us suffer, but sometimes it’s the only way for things to happen that need to take place. Even in the discomfort of it all we have one comfort to hang onto. That comfort is God and his truth and about who we are in him. Abide in him and he will abide in you.

Your Worst Enemy

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 25, 2025
“You are your own worst enemy.” How many times have I said that to myself? I've come to realize that although there's truth to it, there's something else that's even greater. It's name is shame. Shame is the enemy of our soul. We don't even realize it's there. It makes itself comfortable within us and settles in for the long haul. Shame becomes familiar and it rises up when we least expect it and knocks us off our feet. It likes to be in control. Shame has had a grip on me since I was a child. It started when I was bullied by other kids because of my weight. I was the brunt of jokes and a target for snowballs. Names like “Fatso” replaced my own and it didn't take long until I believed their lies. Shame has a voice. It says, “something's wrong with you. You're not good enough.” By the time I became an adult, it affected every area of my life. It stole my identity. I've spent my life trying to prove that I was good enough. I fell into the trap trying to be all things to all people. I took on responsibilities that were not mine to take as I tried to fix everyone's problems. Underneath it all was a desperate need to know I was loved and accepted. The more I strove, the more shame laughed in my face. I got to the place of brokenness where I physically walked with my head down. Shame thought it had won. I was at my lowest point and I cried out to God in desperation. I didn't see fireworks or hear the Hallelujah Chorus but an awareness started deep in my soul. I realized that what I needed most was not the love and acceptance of others but His love. What amazed me was I had it all along. I had heard about it. I knew it in my head but all my striving and need for control kept it from reaching my heart. I didn't need to earn it. It was there waiting for me to accept it. Now there's a transformation going on within me. It's not happening overnight. I still wrestle with shame but it doesn't have a grip on me. I walk with my head up and I'm learning who I really am. I'm learning to love myself because He loves me. It's a daily choice I have to make to turn to God and lean on Him. The power is in surrender. When I am weak. He is strong. There's no shame in weakness. Maybe your experience is similar to mine. Shame likes to hide so I would encourage you to pray for awareness and when you get it, surrender the striving and need for control. The shame will leave as it gets exposed and comes face to face with the Lover of our souls. It can't stand in His presence. The freedom and peace you long for are waiting.

Broken Crayons Still Color

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 6, 2025
When I was a child, I loved the box of crayons that had 64 colors. I gravitated toward the metallic ones because they were so unique. Two years ago, I took a trip with my grandchildren to the Crayola Crayon Factory. I don't know who was more excited. After going through the various exhibits, we ended up in the gift shop where we could take a container and fill it with every crayon color imaginable. I felt like a kid again as I chose each one. I told myself I was buying them for my grandchildren but I knew who they were for. I don't have to tell you I chose every metallic color they had. Back at home, I was wary of letting the grandkids use them for fear they would break them and once they were broken, I didn't want to use them. Ridiculous I know. Next month, I'll be 70 years old. As this milestone comes closer, so does a lot of self-awareness and introspection. I used to think that by this age, I'd have shifted into the “golden years” and everything would be ok. My kids would be grown and settled. I would be retired and spending time teaching my grandchildren how to bake cookies and volunteering somewhere doing community service. I also thought I'd be growing old with the love of my life and we would finally get to travel to all the places we had always wanted to see. Yes, my kids are grown and I do travel but not the way I thought. My body has decided to start protesting its age so I am limited in what I can do and I find myself alone most of the time. I've started to wonder if this is all there is? Why am I still here? Maybe you've felt the same way. I don't know exactly what the reason is other than I have the blessing and wisdom of living this long. I've had trials and challenges that I've walked through and come out the other side. My heart's desire is to help others who are discouraged and feel hopeless. I've asked myself many times how I could help someone else when I have such a long way to go myself and then I heard the words, “broken crayons still color.” Those words changed my perspective and gave me purpose. They showed me that God can take me in my broken, imperfect state and use me for good. He doesn't see the broken crayon, He sees the beautiful colors and He sees my heart. He sees the whole picture. So as long as I have breath, there's a reason. He's not finished with me yet.

Take the Time

By Eileen Glotfelty • January 15, 2025
I've heard a lot about the importance of sitting in silence and solitude. I've never been a fan of either one. Silence makes me feel awkward so I try to fill it by rattling on about something random. Most times it would've been better if I kept my mouth shut. Solitude is another story. I would never voluntarily choose to be alone. I used to think solitude was a result of rejection and I would do everything in my power to avoid it. Lately, I've been looking at both in a different light. I've been on a search for God's love for a long time. I had heard of it but it always seemed just beyond my grasp. Yesterday a friend challenged me. He asked me what my time with God looked like. I answered him honestly. God was part of a routine. I get up and don't know what to do with myself so I sit and have my “quiet time” with the Lord for lack of anything else. A default. He then told me about his time of silence and solitude. It was a beautiful thing full of raw emotion and longing. He came away feeling loved and strengthened. As he spoke, I felt something stir within me. I wanted what he had. I wanted to meet with God and to know His love. God was waiting and He wanted me to come to Him and I did. It's hard to explain but all I know is that I woke up with anticipation and expectation. I went to my chair and started thinking of times where God met me. He's carried me through many storms, held my hand as I walked through the unknown and held me as I cried many tears. He's healed my heart when it's been broken and guided me when I had no idea what to do. I remembered how He loved my kids and brought them through trauma and tragedy when they didn't know He was there. He's healed me physically and emotionally and never turned His back on me even when I turned my back on Him. As I sat there I got a sense of His mercy, love and faithfulness. Words came to my mind that were so clear that I had to write them down. In closing, I'd like to share them and encourage you that if any of it resonates, take some time and embrace the silence and solitude. God will meet you there. "Your Love Your love is peace. Your love is power. Your love is mercy. Your love is faithfulness. Your love is strength. You came as a baby. You surrendered Your power and authority for me. You suffered for me. You didn't have to, but You did. How can I ever thank You? You didn't do it for praise. You did it for love.”