It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way

My dream was pretty typical…grow up, marry the love of my life, have a bunch of kids and live happily ever after in our cute two story home with the white picket fence. Throw in a nice little dog for good measure.

Part of the dream did come true. I married Rob, the love of my life, had four beautiful kids, lived in a two story home minus the white picket fence and add the little dog and two big dogs. Sounds like a good life until that day…

In 2001 my husband developed what we thought was a bad cold with bronchitis. He was susceptible to upper respiratory infections and got them once a year like clockwork. This particular year, we didn't think anything out of the ordinary until it refused to go away. Our primary doctor was out of the country for a while so my husband saw her assistant. After several visits with no end in sight, she referred us to a pulmonary specialist. It was when he did a routine endoscopy that we were blindsided by the word no one wants to hear…cancer.

I still remember that exact moment the doctor gave us the news. Time stood still as my husband and I held onto each other and cried. Our four children sat out in the waiting room oblivious to the fact that their lives had changed forever.

Driving home from the hospital that day. I remember talking to God and saying, "I just want to know how this is going to work out Lord. Will he live or will he die? I just want to know." I was under the impression that if I knew what was coming, I'd be able to handle it better.

Over the next three years we prayed, quoted Scriptures on healing and refused to entertain any comments to the contrary. When my husband was in his last days, the doctors tried to prepare me for the inevitable but I refused to give up. Surely God was going to intervene. I had worship music playing in his room around the clock and even went so far as to throw a nurse out of his room for speaking negatively about my husband's condition. A few days later, I found myself a widow and a single mother wondering how we would survive.

It's been over 20 years now. It's been a long, hard road in many ways. There have been ups and downs, successes and failures. When I look back at the journey, I'm amazed at how I made it through.

For the first ten years, I could barely pray. I questioned myself and I questioned God. Was my faith not strong enough? Where did I go wrong? I was supposed to be a woman of faith. I felt like I was the victim of a cruel joke and its name was "disappointment." I was disappointed in myself, in others and especially God. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I remember taking a walk on a country road one summer's day and once again asking God how I got it all wrong. I heard Him say to me ever so gently, "Faith is still believing even when it doesn't go your way." Those words penetrated my soul. You see, I had felt like a fool for believing in Him. I would think about all the people who would sadly look at me while I stood my ground believing for Rob's healing.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Disappointment is a forerunner to despair. It needs to be recognized and dealt with before you fall into its trap. The other area it loves to take us is self-pity…I know it well. Neither one is a place where we belong.

One of the ways to defeat disappointment is to face it. As I mentioned earlier, I had a hard time after Rob passed away because I felt like a fool denying the fact that he was dying. I hoped all those doctors and nurses would forget I existed, but God in His mercy had a different plan.

It was several years after Rob's death and I was talking to a lady in my church. She was a nurse practitioner who was connected with our local hospital. As we were talking, she mentioned that she met one of the nurses who had been in the ICU when Rob was there. In fact, she was the very nurse I told to leave his room. The nurse practitioner went on to tell me that this nurse had never forgotten me…I started to cringe but what she said next almost brought me to my knees. She told me that the nurse said she had never seen such faith and it made her go and search for her own. I was humbled and amazed.

Life is full of disappointments for each one of us but I'm beginning to see that good can come out of them. The circumstances may not change but I want to believe that God sees what we don't. It may not be the way I thought it was supposed to be but it may be His. As I heard on that country road, "Faith is about believing even when it doesn't go your way."

The Last Straw

By Eileen Glotfelty • September 20, 2026
It was November 2001. The world was still reeling from grief with the effects of 911. Even though my world wasn't affected by 911, it was still reeling in grief.  The love of my life was lying in the hospital on a ventilator living out his last days. I didn't know how many were left and I was clinging to the fact that it wasn't too late for a miracle. On that particular day, I had gone to be with him. Every time I went, I would stand by his bedside and read Psalm 91 to him as tears rolled down my face. Psalm 91 talks about God being our refuge and our strength and how He covers us. He likens it to a bird tucking his young under his wing to protect it. It goes on to say how He gives us angels to guard us and toward the end He says, “He will call on Me and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:4, 15 NIV) I didn't realize how I would soon see those words come to pass. When I left the hospital, I got in our old car that someone had graciously given us. It had seen its better days, but we were thankful. On that night, however, the engine decided not to turn over. It was the last straw and I sat there with grief and despair washing over me. I couldn't even begin to think what to do. It was maybe a few minutes later that I looked up to see a friend from church walking toward my car. She had come to visit my husband and saw me sitting there. She knew her way around cars and she was familiar with mine. Within five minutes she had me open the trunk and pushed a button that I didn't know existed. The car started immediately. Apparently it was a safety feature of some kind that cut off fuel to the engine. To say I was grateful is an understatement. Some would say it was a coincidence, but I say it was my God tucking me under His wing and delivering me in trouble. He led that woman who knew about the button in the trunk to be there at the right time. He saw my pain. He knew I had reached my limit, and He met me in my grief and despair. I hope my story will encourage you if you are facing an impossible situation. God knows. He never takes His eyes off of you. I learned that my last straw is not His. He will tuck you under His wing and bring you through.

Key to the Heart

By Eileen Glotfelty • August 9, 2026
Keys, you never see their significance until you lose one. A few years ago I was downsizing from a large home to a smaller, more manageable one. I lived in that house for 20 years and now that the kids were grown and gone, it was time to let it go. As I was sorting through years worth of “stuff,” I came across an old can full of keys. At one point, each of those keys had a specific purpose. Some unlocked doors, some unlocked cars and some unlocked things that are still a mystery to this day, but each one unlocked something that needed to be protected and kept safe. As I sat there looking at this container of keys, I had to decide whether to keep them in the hope that they would still be needed some day or to accept the fact that since they had been sitting in that can for years, unused, it was ok to throw them out. I chose the latter. All of us are holding onto a key, whether we realize it or not. It’s the key to our heart. That key is a precious gift. It was meant to be opened by one person and when we put it in the wrong hands, we walk away disappointed and broken. I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. I was reading in the book of Mark, Chapter 11, verse 17 (NIV), about Jesus turning over the tables in the marketplace. I used to think that it was because He was so offended that He let His anger take over. That’s true, but what He was actually doing was restoring order. A sacred place that He loved was being turned into “a den of robbers,” as Jesus called it. Something that was precious and sacred was being defiled and He was taking it back and making it right. This story made me see that it’s never too late to take back the key from those who didn’t deserve it and give it to the One who gave it to me. Jesus handed it to me when He died on the cross and He’s given me the choice to return it. Why haven’t I done it before this? Truthfully, it’s because I was afraid. I wanted control and I thought by giving it to Him, He would ask me to do things out of my comfort zone and love people that I didn’t want to love. I gave my key to the people I thought I could control and I would be safe. I’ve lived my life in chaos because of it. So Jesus, I give you the key to my heart. It’s rusty and bent Lord, but I know You can restore it. Forgive me for giving it to those who didn’t deserve it and looking for the love that only You could give me. Open my heart to Your will and put the broken pieces back together. If tables need to be turned over, turn them over. I surrender control to You. Help me to trust You and love You with all my heart.

A Red Sky

By Eileen Glotfelty • July 27, 2026
Having been raised in the “Steel City,” the only red skies I knew growing up were filled with the red dust of the steel mills. The first time I saw a real sunset was as an adult visiting the Jersey Shore. From that day on. I was hooked. Any chance I got to see a sunset, I was there. Recently, I returned from a trip to the Finger Lakes in upstate NY. It was our last day and we had plans to visit one of the lakes so my granddaughters could go swimming. Unfortunately the weather did not cooperate and left us with a cloudy, windy day. We switched to Plan B which was also nice but we were still a little disappointed. Part of our plan involved some sight seeing and shopping at an Amish Market (and yes, we did buy some Whoopie pies). After that we went back to the farm where we were staying so the girls could visit the barn animals one more time. The day before we were talking to another guest and they raved about the beautiful sunsets they had seen there. I had hoped we would see one that last night, but as I said before, the weather didn't look promising. In order to get to the barn, we had to walk out to a gravel road beyond the trees and down the hill. As we stepped out onto the road, I was happy to see the sun peeking through the clouds. I watched the sun turn that sliver of sky into shades or orange and pink and I was thankful for the view. When we reached the bottom of the hill, my daughter and the girls went to the barn but I stood in the road admiring the sky before me one more time. I walked over to the barn briefly but I'm not a fan of goats and chickens roaming loose, so when they decided to come visit me, I decided it was time for me to leave. I took another route back to our room which involved walking through a grassy field. I was half the way up when something told me to turn around. What I saw made my mouth drop and I did an about face and almost ran back to the road (notice I said. ‘almost’ ran.”) In the short time I had walked through the field, the sky had changed dramatically and had opened up to show the glory of its Creator. There in front of me were brilliant hues of pink, orange, red and purple. They bounced off every cloud and filled the sky. In all my years of sunsets, I had never witnessed one like this. I stood taking pictures until it disappeared. As I walked back to my room, I asked God how that happened. I felt as if He did it for me just to see the delight on my face. The following Sunday, I went to my church and the Pastor used this quote in his sermon. “Red skies at night. A sailor's delight.” He said he had met a naval man traveling on the same airplane. They saw a beautiful sunset to which the man had mentioned the quote. When I came home, the quote and the sunset kept coming back to me so I did a little research. To sum it up, a red sky at night can signify that a storm has passed and is no longer a threat. That spoke to me. My life has been a series of storms. Lately, a big one has been raging at hurricane proportions. I have prayed, I have cried and have been full of fear for the outcome. That sunset gave me peace. God is a merciful God. He reminded me, once again, that He was with me in the storm and even if I'm not seeing the red skies of night, it doesn't change the fact they are coming. Lord, right now the storm is raging. I need You. Help me to keep my eyes on You. You are with me and You always have been. Guard my heart and help me keep my eyes on You. Thank you for the beautiful red sky that gave me hope again.