It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way

My dream was pretty typical…grow up, marry the love of my life, have a bunch of kids and live happily ever after in our cute two story home with the white picket fence. Throw in a nice little dog for good measure.

Part of the dream did come true. I married Rob, the love of my life, had four beautiful kids, lived in a two story home minus the white picket fence and add the little dog and two big dogs. Sounds like a good life until that day…

In 2001 my husband developed what we thought was a bad cold with bronchitis. He was susceptible to upper respiratory infections and got them once a year like clockwork. This particular year, we didn't think anything out of the ordinary until it refused to go away. Our primary doctor was out of the country for a while so my husband saw her assistant. After several visits with no end in sight, she referred us to a pulmonary specialist. It was when he did a routine endoscopy that we were blindsided by the word no one wants to hear…cancer.

I still remember that exact moment the doctor gave us the news. Time stood still as my husband and I held onto each other and cried. Our four children sat out in the waiting room oblivious to the fact that their lives had changed forever.

Driving home from the hospital that day. I remember talking to God and saying, "I just want to know how this is going to work out Lord. Will he live or will he die? I just want to know." I was under the impression that if I knew what was coming, I'd be able to handle it better.

Over the next three years we prayed, quoted Scriptures on healing and refused to entertain any comments to the contrary. When my husband was in his last days, the doctors tried to prepare me for the inevitable but I refused to give up. Surely God was going to intervene. I had worship music playing in his room around the clock and even went so far as to throw a nurse out of his room for speaking negatively about my husband's condition. A few days later, I found myself a widow and a single mother wondering how we would survive.

It's been over 20 years now. It's been a long, hard road in many ways. There have been ups and downs, successes and failures. When I look back at the journey, I'm amazed at how I made it through.

For the first ten years, I could barely pray. I questioned myself and I questioned God. Was my faith not strong enough? Where did I go wrong? I was supposed to be a woman of faith. I felt like I was the victim of a cruel joke and its name was "disappointment." I was disappointed in myself, in others and especially God. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

I remember taking a walk on a country road one summer's day and once again asking God how I got it all wrong. I heard Him say to me ever so gently, "Faith is still believing even when it doesn't go your way." Those words penetrated my soul. You see, I had felt like a fool for believing in Him. I would think about all the people who would sadly look at me while I stood my ground believing for Rob's healing.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Disappointment is a forerunner to despair. It needs to be recognized and dealt with before you fall into its trap. The other area it loves to take us is self-pity…I know it well. Neither one is a place where we belong.

One of the ways to defeat disappointment is to face it. As I mentioned earlier, I had a hard time after Rob passed away because I felt like a fool denying the fact that he was dying. I hoped all those doctors and nurses would forget I existed, but God in His mercy had a different plan.

It was several years after Rob's death and I was talking to a lady in my church. She was a nurse practitioner who was connected with our local hospital. As we were talking, she mentioned that she met one of the nurses who had been in the ICU when Rob was there. In fact, she was the very nurse I told to leave his room. The nurse practitioner went on to tell me that this nurse had never forgotten me…I started to cringe but what she said next almost brought me to my knees. She told me that the nurse said she had never seen such faith and it made her go and search for her own. I was humbled and amazed.

Life is full of disappointments for each one of us but I'm beginning to see that good can come out of them. The circumstances may not change but I want to believe that God sees what we don't. It may not be the way I thought it was supposed to be but it may be His. As I heard on that country road, "Faith is about believing even when it doesn't go your way."

What If

By Eileen Glotfelty • May 30, 2025
This is something I have asked myself for a long time. It usually goes something like this: What if I can't pay the bills? What if I get sick and can't take care of myself? What if I'm never free of the pain? You get the picture. I've always been the one on high alert and looking for trouble around every corner waiting for the other shoe to drop. The sad thing is that I didn't know there was another way…until now. Now I choose to look at the glass half full. It's not always easy because I was programmed in the negative for so long. It's a conscious effort to take a hold of those thoughts and turn them around but every time I do, the anxiety and fear is replaced with peace. For example, currently I'm on a flight to California. Never been there. Don't know the people I'm staying with. Everything fits into the category of “the unknown.” Normally I would be in panic mode but I've made the decision to turn the what ifs around from “What if the plane crashes? " to "What if I trust God to get me there safely?” “What if I don't know what to do when I get there and I feel awkward? to "What if I meet some great people who become special friends?” and one more: “What if I don't get what I came for and I return home disappointed? to "What if I am blessed beyond anything I can imagine and leave there better than I came?” As I encourage myself, I encourage you. You can do this. You know why…because God gave us His word and that's all we need. There are many that I hold onto but here are a few: “I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Me because he trusts in me.” “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Today is a new day full of what ifs. It all depends how you look at it. What if…

Armor of God

By angela • May 29, 2025
How to Put on the Full Armor of God: A Daily Guide for Every Believer All day, every day, an invisible war rages around us. A cunning, relentless enemy seeks to wreak havoc on everything that matters—our minds, emotions, families, and future. But as followers of Jesus Christ, we are not defenseless. We are equipped and empowered by the Holy Spirit to stand strong. In Ephesians 6:10–18 , Paul lays out the spiritual armor that God has given us. This post will guide you through how to put on your armor daily , so you're guarded against the attacks of the enemy and able to stand firm in Christ’s victory. Victory Is Already Won Before diving into each piece of armor, remember this: Jesus has already won . When He died on the cross and rose again three days later, He defeated every enemy. We don’t fight for victory—we fight from victory. Our strength and courage come from what Christ has already accomplished. The Belt of Truth The belt holds the entire armor together. Truth grounds us and reminds us of our identity in Christ . 🛡️ How to wear it daily: Start and end your day in God’s Word. Memorize Scripture. Speak truth out loud when Satan attacks. Replace the enemy’s lies with the unshakable truth of Scripture. The Breastplate of Righteousness We have no righteousness of our own. Christ’s righteousness is our covering. 🛡️ How to wear it daily: Live a life rooted in God’s Word. Choose integrity and purity in your daily walk. Protect your heart by killing the flesh and pursuing holiness. The Shoes of Peace Our firm foundation is the Gospel of peace . We are secure in what Jesus has done. 🛡️ How to wear them daily: Be a living example of Christ. Share your testimony and speak hope. Walk confidently knowing your future is secure in Him. The Shield of Faith Faith is what extinguishes the fiery arrows of the enemy. 🛡️ How to lift it daily: Trust in God's promises even when you can't see the outcome. Stay connected to other believers. Remember past victories to fuel your current faith. The Helmet of Salvation This is the most essential piece. Without salvation, there is no battle to fight—and no victory to win. 🛡️ How to wear it daily: Stand confidently in your identity as a child of God. Feed your mind with spiritual truth: listen to sermons, podcasts, and teachings. Be consistent in church attendance and worship. Even in the darkest storms, the certainty of your salvation will be your light and strength. The Sword of the Spirit This is our only offensive weapon —the Word of God. It is powerful, alive, and active. 🛡️ How to wield it daily: Read Scripture consistently. Make it a non-negotiable habit. When attacked, respond with Scripture—just like Jesus did when tempted in the wilderness. On hard days, immerse yourself in the Word. Take extra time if you need it. Let God's truth wash over you. The Power of Prayer Prayer is how we access God's strength. Without it, our armor has no power. Victory comes through prayer. 🛡️ How to pray daily: Pray the moment you open your eyes. Ask for wisdom, strength, and direction. Pray impulsively throughout the day—about anything and everything. Before bed, kneel and have a conversation with your Creator. Give thanks, seek comfort, and align your heart with His. Final Thoughts: Suit Up Daily Although the war has already been won , the daily battle must still be fought. The enemy doesn't take days off—neither should we. Thankfully, we have everything we need. The armor. The sword. The power of prayer. And most importantly, we have the presence of God Himself , who goes before us in every battle.  Suit up, believer. Stand firm. And walk confidently in the victory Christ has already secured for you.

Your Worst Enemy

By Eileen Glotfelty • April 25, 2025
“You are your own worst enemy.” How many times have I said that to myself? I've come to realize that although there's truth to it, there's something else that's even greater. It's name is shame. Shame is the enemy of our soul. We don't even realize it's there. It makes itself comfortable within us and settles in for the long haul. Shame becomes familiar and it rises up when we least expect it and knocks us off our feet. It likes to be in control. Shame has had a grip on me since I was a child. It started when I was bullied by other kids because of my weight. I was the brunt of jokes and a target for snowballs. Names like “Fatso” replaced my own and it didn't take long until I believed their lies. Shame has a voice. It says, “something's wrong with you. You're not good enough.” By the time I became an adult, it affected every area of my life. It stole my identity. I've spent my life trying to prove that I was good enough. I fell into the trap trying to be all things to all people. I took on responsibilities that were not mine to take as I tried to fix everyone's problems. Underneath it all was a desperate need to know I was loved and accepted. The more I strove, the more shame laughed in my face. I got to the place of brokenness where I physically walked with my head down. Shame thought it had won. I was at my lowest point and I cried out to God in desperation. I didn't see fireworks or hear the Hallelujah Chorus but an awareness started deep in my soul. I realized that what I needed most was not the love and acceptance of others but His love. What amazed me was I had it all along. I had heard about it. I knew it in my head but all my striving and need for control kept it from reaching my heart. I didn't need to earn it. It was there waiting for me to accept it. Now there's a transformation going on within me. It's not happening overnight. I still wrestle with shame but it doesn't have a grip on me. I walk with my head up and I'm learning who I really am. I'm learning to love myself because He loves me. It's a daily choice I have to make to turn to God and lean on Him. The power is in surrender. When I am weak. He is strong. There's no shame in weakness. Maybe your experience is similar to mine. Shame likes to hide so I would encourage you to pray for awareness and when you get it, surrender the striving and need for control. The shame will leave as it gets exposed and comes face to face with the Lover of our souls. It can't stand in His presence. The freedom and peace you long for are waiting.