Have you ever been in a season that was so dark and terrible that you thought you just might die from all the pain, confusion and heartache? Have you ever felt like you were just simply surviving from one minute to the next, unable to see beyond the overwhelming reality you were surrounded by? Have you ever found yourself looking around at your life only to see the wreckage left in the wake of your devastating circumstances? If so, you’re not alone dear friend, I too have been there the entire year of 2023 as I experienced continuous heartbreak, betrayal and trauma, all leading up to my current divorce. Even now as I am typing this right before New Years, it’s only been 3 weeks since my divorce was finalized.

The long and the short of my story is that after being together for 22 years, married 13 of those years to my best friend and high school sweetheart I find myself newly single, all alone, and having to not only heal from many years of trauma, but also having to completely rebuild my whole life. I never asked for or wanted this divorce but was forced into choosing one after my husband made a series of awful decisions. I fought long and hard for my marriage even until the very end, but it just wasn’t enough. I even exhausted every single resource and solution known to man to try and heal my marriage but eventually it was clear that divorce was the only way forward. My husband’s decisions and behaviors have not only left me traumatized, devastated and rejected; they have also left me all alone without a covering, provision, companionship, as well as a complete change in my identity.

There just aren’t enough words to ever fully describe the deep anguish that I have experienced during this past year-year and a half, especially those months leading up to my decision to file for a divorce, and even now as the full weight of my grief has begun to fully set in after losing everything…my husband and best friend, home, future plans and dreams, dreams for a family, and financial security. What I can say is that if it wasn’t for God carrying me through all the immense devastation and loss, I wouldn’t be here today. I’m not proud of it, but there were more times than I can count when I either contemplated taking my own life or was begging and pleading with God to take me home to be with Him in Heaven so that I wouldn’t have to suffer or be in pain anymore. That wasn’t however God’s plan for me, and though I don’t have any clue what His plans for me are even now in this new and uncharted season of my life, I am clinging to the truth in Jeremiah 29:11NLT when it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” This scripture reminds me that if it’s not good yet, God’s not done yet. Now I’m not naïve enough to believe that this scripture means that my life with be perfect or trouble free, but I do know that it means that I won’t stay stuck in this season of deep anguish and grief forever because it also says in Psalm 30:11NLT “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy”, so I know that God’s not done yet because that’s what it says in His word and God’s not a liar, it’s not in His character to lie. And because God has and is still carrying me, I felt led to not only share a bit about myself, but also about something God revealed to me during this terrible season in my life that I pray blesses you dear friend during your own dark season of life.

About three months ago as I was trying to find an additional way to layer in the word of God into my daily routine and I came across a podcast that talked through a few chapters of the Bible each day working from Genesis to Revelations in 1 year. One morning while listening to the story of Ruth I heard God highlight the words, ‘Kinsman-Redeemer’, and though I had heard and read about the story of Ruth dozens of times before I was confused as to why God was highlighting those words for me. I quickly jotted the words down and continued about my morning routine. Later in my day I heard God vividly say to me, “I am your Kinsman-Redeemer!”. There it was again, only this time it was directed at me and now I was fully intrigued. How could a title used in the book of Ruth from thousands of years ago apply to me and my circumstances today?

As I researched the meaning behind a Kinsman-Redeemer I discovered that they are a male relative that had the privilege or responsibility to act on behalf of the relative who was in trouble, danger or need. The Hebrew term (go el) for Kinsman-Redeemer designates one who delivers or rescues. The very definition of a Kinsman-Redeemer is one who redeems what is lost. The Kinsman-Redeemer was also seen as a rescuer and restorer. In the story of Ruth, Boaz responded to Ruth’s plight with compassion, generosity, and without delay just as God is faithful to do the same for His own children in need as THE ULTIMATE Kinsman-Redeemer.

Let’s first refresh ourselves with the story of Ruth before uncovering the true meaning for the Kinsman-Redeemer and how it applies to us today. Ruth was in a great bind after her husband had passed away and was in an interesting position when Naomi offered for her and her sister in-law to go back to their families instead of following her into a new land. Instead of leaving and going back to what was familiar and safe Ruth had great courage and told Naomi in Ruth 1:16, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; where you live, I will live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.” In doing this Ruth pledged herself to stay faithful to her mother in-law and to God and was later on honored by God for doing so.

As the story continues, both Ruth and Naomi make it safely to Bethlehem and one day Naomi asks Ruth to go out into the harvest fields to collect the grain left behind by one of the reapers who might be kind enough to let her glean behind them. Ruth immediately went out to do as Naomi requested of her and while she was gleaning in Boaz’ field (who was a relative of Naomi’s late husband); Boaz took notice of her and granted her full access to his field, protected her from the servants of the field and even cared for her offering her water whenever she had need. When Ruth inquired of Boaz about his intentions behind such kind gestures Boaz mentioned that he was fully aware of everything that she had done for her mother-in-law, as well as the risk she had taken to leave her family and go into an unknown land, and then expressed his desire for the Lord to repay her for her kindness. When Ruth went home to share with Naomi all that had transpired Naomi rejoiced and spoke blessings out loud about Boaz and then shared that Boaz was a relative of her late husband and was one who would be able to redeem them, so Naomi encouraged Ruth to continue to stay in his field, close to his servants. Ruth did just so and was granted great favor by Boaz.

One day Naomi shared with Ruth that Boaz would be on the threshing floor and asked Ruth to clean up and put on her best clothes and then to go down to the threshing floor. Noami then told Ruth to wait until Boaz had eaten, drank and laid down, then encouraged Ruth to uncover his feet and lie down at his feet and wait to see what Boaz says to her. Ruth was faithful to do as she was told and in the middle of the night Boaz was startled awake and found Ruth lying at his feet. When Boaz asked who she was Ruth asked him to put the corner of his garment over her because he was the Guardian-Redeemer (which is a legal term for one who has an obligation to redeem a relative in serious difficulty) of her family. Boaz’ response was one of great kindness as he spoke blessings over her, but immediately informed her that there was another who was more closely related and would need to see if that man would be the one to redeem her instead. Boaz blessed her with an abundance of food and sent her on her way. After going home and sharing what had happened Naomi encouraged Ruth to wait and see how quickly things would be resolved. That same day Boaz went to the town gate and waited until the family redeemer came by Boaz then asked to speak with him after collecting 10 leaders of the town to be witnesses. As Boaz shared about the property, as well as Ruth this male relative was willing to redeem the property, but not the widow and thus gave up his right to redeem. Upon doing this, Boaz was next in line and he became the kinsman-redeemer, ultimately redeeming her property and her name. Ruth and Boaz’ marriage was blessed in many ways and the Lord restored and redeemed all that had been lost for both Ruth and Naomi in this union!

After re-reading the story of Ruth and digging a bit deeper into how this applies to Jesus being our Kinsman-Redeemer I discovered that there were 4 requirements to being a Kinsman-Redeemer. The first requirement is that a person could only be a Kinsman-Redeemer if you were a Kin. They had to have some type of relational tie to you, essentially being of the same kind as you and because Jesus took on human flesh to be in human form like us, He too became of the same kind as us just as it states in John 1:14NLT “So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son”. The second requirement was that the person had to be willing. Just like in the story of Ruth and Boaz the relative before Boaz was not willing to follow through on the redemption and if the person is not willing, they can’t be forced to do it. Being willing is at the very heart of what a Kinsman-Redeemer is, and that is the total heart of Christ. Jesus gave up his life as a sacrifice of his own free accord, no one forced Him to, just like it says in John 10:18NLT “No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.” The third requirement is that you had to be able to redeem. Willingness by itself was not enough for someone to be a Kinsman-Redeemer, you had to have the financial means to be able to follow through. In the same way Jesus was able to redeem us because his death and obedience was all that was needed to bring about our redemption. The fourth and final requirement is that the person had to pay the price in full in order to redeem. Because there was no such thing as partial redemption the redeemer had to pay in full or they weren’t able to redeem. With Jesus he paid the complete price for our sins which makes our redemption complete just as it says in Titus 2:14NLT “He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds”. Another words, our Kinsman-Redeemer restored everything that was lost and has given us a new identity in Christ when we accept Christ into our hearts.

As I took in all that I read, and all that God revealed to me I began to fully see how the term, Kinsman-Redeemer applies to my life and yours today. First, here is the major take away from the story of Ruth, it illustrates how God often works quietly behind the scenes to provide a solution to our every problem. What a beautiful thing isn’t it?! Even when we can’t see or feel the hand of God, He is still at work in our lives! What that tells me is that even in the midst of complete turmoil, uncertainty and all-consuming grief we know that God has never left us or forsaken us and is working everything together for our good just like it says in Romans 8:28NLT “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”. And just like Ruth, who came before Boaz with boldness and received great favor and an answer to her problems, we too can come boldly before God and He will turn His ears towards us and answer our requests and cries to Him just like it says in Matthew 7:7NLT “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” And just like how Boaz was willing and able to redeem Ruth in her greatest time of need, Jesus is not only willing and able but is awaiting the perfect moment to also FULLY restore all that was lost in my life and YOURS, just like it says in Joel 2:25aAMP “And I will compensate you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust, and the gnawing locust-“.

It finally hit me that God was highlighting Kinsman-Redeemer because He’s telling me that even though I lost my husband because of his life choices and not death, God is willing and will be redeeming me and my life circumstances! Even though I have no marital and spiritual covering now, God is saying He will be mine! Even though I don’t know how I’m going to make it financially on my own, God is saying that He is my provider! And even though I have no companion and have lost literally everything in this process God is saying that He will restore everything! And though I am no longer considered a wife (a title and position I dearly cherished) and now have a new identity as a single woman, God is reminding me that my TRUE identity is only found in Him first and foremost as His beloved daughter; and the loss of that identity, as well as all of the immense loss that I experienced doesn’t define me, who God says I am defines me! What a beautiful revelation this was for me….and I hope also for you!

I don’t know what you’re experiencing or facing today, dear friend, but I imagine you too know what it feels like to be drowning in deep grief or suffocating under the weightiness of a trauma that has blindsided you; and though our stories may not be the same, I imagine you can relate to the deep pain and suffering I have been experiencing. No matter what you’re facing today my prayer for you dear one is that the story of Ruth, pieces of my personal story, and this beautiful revelation from God brings you a greater sense of peace in the same way that it did for me. My prayer is that amid your heartbreak, chaos, and uncertainty swirling all around you that you can lock eyes with God, the lover of your soul and know that He is YOUR ULTIMATE Kinsman-Redeemer and is willing and able to show up in unexpected ways in your current situation. And just remember, even if God feels silent, He is always working quietly in the background on your behalf and will one day soon work everything perfectly together for your good. Until then, I pray that even in this moment you can close your eyes, take a deep breath, and lean back into the loving arms of our beautiful and loving Father who is fully in control, fully capable of supplying your every need, fully capable of healing all of the broken recesses of your soul, fully capable of reminding you of your true identity, and fully willing and able to redeem all that has been stolen and lost.