• Ciara McDowell

Rejection and Temperament

Everyone at some point in life has been or felt rejected by another person, whether it was from an acquaintance, friend, child, or even a significant other. Rejection is part of our life; it’s something we can’t actually keep from happening. How are you going to let it affect you? Will you let rejection from others consume you, or will you bounce back and not let it be a bother?

What exactly is it that causes us to feel rejected, unwanted, unloved, and/or useless? When this occurs, how are we going to respond? Will it be received in a godly manner of unoffended hearts and with forgiveness? Or, will our weaknesses take hold of our hearts, and lead us down a road of unforgiveness and bitterness?

Understanding more of our temperament weaknesses is extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with and healing from rejection. Each temperament has its own strength and weaknesses, and they’re shown in three areas: inclusion, control, and affection. I will highlight the area of affection, which is known to be where deep personal relationships are defined.

Sanguine: This person tends to have a compulsive fear of rejection and, because of this, may say and do things that they know are not right, but they do them anyhow to keep from being rejected.

Example: A teen aged girl is rejected by dad. She knows that sleeping around isn’t good nor what she wants but in order to feel loved and not rejected she will sleep with whomever she needs to in order to feel accepted.

Melancholy: This person tends to want to get even when a deep relationship hurts or rejects them.

Example: A wife takes everything from her ex-husband in a divorce and keeps him from seeing their children in order to make him pay for rejecting her in the marriage.

Supine: This person tends to feel worthless and unlovable at times. They cannot understand how anyone could love him. They constan

Example: A young man searches for a deep connection with a young woman he could one day call his wife but because he’s so afraid of being rejected, he never allows a woman to love him. His need for love never gets met due to his fear of rejection.

These are only a few examples of how rejection or fear of rejection affects people. If you would like to know and understand more about your temperament and how you deal with or respond to rejection, please call and make an appointment today.

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