Low Self Worth
We hear so much about low self-worth but what is it and where does it come from? I can share how low self-worth had impacted my life.
As a child, I never remember being held on my mother’s lap or embraced by her loving arms. I so desperately wanted her love but she only had enough love for my siblings. I wanted her acceptance and approval but no matter how hard I tried it was never obtained. Good report cards would come in the mail never to be acknowledged as my siblings were given praise or rewards for theirs. Christmas was always hard as I was given plenty of presents but my longing for a hug or an acknowledgment of my gratitude would only be returned with a look of hate. I knew that my mother wished I did not exist, not only in the words she spoke to me but also in the actions she displayed.
Those are some of the things that happened to me. I longed for my mother’s love and acceptance only to receive repeated rejection. Not only was I repeatedly rejected by my mother but I also was rejected by an absent father. In turn, I developed low self-worth. I had no idea what self-worth was. I felt insignificant and not valuable to anyone, even to myself.
Worth signifies the value, merit, or significance of a person or thing.
Self-worth is the belief that your life has value and significance.
Since I felt I had no value and no significance, I became whatever others wanted me to be. I had no boundaries either with friends or with strangers. I became critical of myself, never believing I was good enough in what I did or how I looked. I was controlled by a victim mentality; telling anyone my story that would listen. As a result, I became overly competitive and viewed losing as a reflection of my value and worth. I was a perfectionist striving to earn approval from others and myself. I was insistent on getting my own way.
Not only did my value of myself affect personal relationships but it had affected my relationship with God. I had a difficult time feeling that I am accepted by God and trusting Him. Sometimes, I feet as if He loved me only to feel rejected by Him later. I didn't always feel wanted by God and or feel that He could ever really forgive me.
But through His word, God has shown me that I DO have worth – to Him! I have been bought with the ultimate price. Jesus Christ died, willing, on the cross for me, paying the penalty for my sins. That is how much God loves me. I didn’t have to do anything for that nor will not have to in the future. It is already done. I was worth dying for and so are you!
“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
(1 John 4:9-10)
Learning to accept my value and worth was a process. But through God's word and the loving support of others, I was able to heal and see myself as the valuable person I am!